When Tenacity isn't Enough

When Tenacity isn’t enough

“Coach Heather I’m tired and frustrated, I guess I’m okay but just really mad. Natasha doesn’t even want it like I do, I work, I come to practice, I do my homework and she still gets to run the 4X4 relay over me because she has a faster time.” Those were the words coming out of Mya’s mouth. Mya is a seventeen year old sophomore and a very resilient young lady. Yet at this moment as I jog a cool-down lap with her around the track I am mute. I have no words to say to alleviate her frustration and to stop her tears from falling. In this moment, the most important thing to her is the relay and proving that she adds value to her team.

We are so conditioned to report on the fun and exciting things but the truth is the worthwhile and memorable moments for me lie in conversations that unveil the true intricacies and strength of people.

Strength comes from adversity. I never fathomed I would have the opportunity to be a coach for a high school track team. In my adolescent years I had a type-A mentality, knowing what I needed to do in order to get what I needed accomplished. Rarely did I stop to reflect and if there ever was a dilemma of what to do, my answer was to keep walking, to keep moving, keep running. However, coaching has been an incredibly gratifying and rewarding experience, especially coaching after recently graduating myself.

Although I never imagined the capability of learning such a skill but I have learned how to guide my athletes and teach them how to stay motivated while taking on such difficult aspirations. I’ve learned from experience that the only true gift at the end of the long journey is a deep sense of personal accomplishment. “But Coach Heather, what if I don’t feel it, what if it is not enough?”

As I reflect back on Mya’s words, I find my thoughts swirling and racing everywhere and nowhere simultaneously. Human connection and kindness is a science that is mastered with practice and time, yet still has an astounding effect each and every time it is experienced. It gives us the impetus to improve our own skills and become a better version of ourselves. Connecting with my athletes, like Mya, includes acknowledging their joy, nervousness, and pain, processing it, and accepting personal responsibility where applicable then empowering them to continue.

I use a famous poet’s words to support not only my athletes but to shine light on questions I cannot answer myself. “Continue to let humor lighten the burden of a tender heart, continue to let the people hear the grandeur of hope in the pearls of your laughter. Continue, to let your eloquence elevate people to heights they can only imagine. Continue, to remind the people that each is as good as the other and that no one is beneath you or above you. Continue, to plant a kiss of concern on the cheek of the sick and count that action as natural and to be expected. Continue, to let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer. And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome life’s adversities. Continue, to spare no vision which comes to enlarge your range and incite your spirit. Continue, to dare to love deeply and take risks for the good thing. Continue, and by doing so you are your purpose will be able to continue.”

By empowering them I motivate myself.